To secure his Tudor dynasty with sons, England's Henry VIII embarked on a long marital journey that incorporated six wives, eleven pregnancies, three children and only one son.
By far the greatest casualties of Henry's quest were his wives. Katherine of Aragon (wife #1) was dispatched after nearly twenty years of marriage. To be rid of her, Henry endured a six-year battle of wills and a formal break with the Catholic Church. He later sent two wives (Anne Boleyn and Katherine Howard) to the block for adultery. Jane Seymour, wife #3, gave Henry the son he craved, but she died twelve days later of puerperal fever.
Clearly, Henry was not an easy man to please--or to live with. So of his six wives, which emerged the luckiest?
That would be the unlikeliest: Anne of Cleves.
I Like Her Not!
Born and raised in the German duchy of Cleves, Anne became Henry's fourth wife in January of 1540. They had never met before. Henry based his choice on political considerations and Hans Holbein's portrait of her. When the two were formally introduced,however, Henry was devestated. His famous comment was, "I like her not!"
Henry's complaints about his new bride centered on her appearance. After the alluring Anne Boleyn and the petite Jane Seymour, he found Anne's figure "disordered and indisposed" and claimed she reeked of body odor.
They had few common interests. Henry loved music, jousting and parties. Anne, on the other hand, had been raised strictly and indulged in few past times. Her English was as bad as her figure.
Never the less, the wedding took place as planned, causing Henry to comment darkly, "If it were not to satisfy the world and my realm, I would not do that I must this day for no earthly thing."
Fortunately, Anne knew none of Henry's displeasure. That's because he spent as little time with her as possible. Her complete ignorance about sex kept her from realizing her marriage wasn't even comsummated. While sitting with her ladies-in-waiting, the new queen explained the nightly ritual with her husband involved a few stray kisses and nothing more. "Is that not enough?" she inquired.
Henry, meanwhile, had already declared "he could never in (Anne's) company be provoked and steered to know her carnally."
Good Sister
Such a misalliance could never continue and here is where Anne showed her smarts. Six months after the marriage began, Henry proposed an annulment. Unlike Katherine of Aragon, who refused to step aside, Anne graciously agreed to do just that, perhaps realizing she had nothing to gain from a husband who disliked her. For acquiescing to Henry's request, Anne recieved a generous income and several landed estates. Most importantly, she retained Henry's favor. She was henceforth described as the King's adopted "good sister".
Anne never returned to Germany or remarried. Her marriage may have been a disaster, but her annulment brought her wealth and independence. Besides her good relations with Henry, Anne remained close to her stepchildren, especially the Princess Mary.
Once free of Anne, Henry was ready to marry again. His next choice was Katherine Howard, a lady-in-waiting thirty years his junior. Marriage number five did not last long. In 1542, Katherine was sent to the block for adultery, leaving Henry humiliated and heartbroken. He would marry just once more(to Katherine Parr) before his death in 1547.
Anne was to out live Henry by ten years. By no means the monarch's favorite spouse (that distinction belonged to Jane Seymour, who was buried beside him), she certainly was the savviest. And the only one who truly lived happily ever after.
