The future Mrs. Abraham Lincoln was born Mary Ann Todd in Lexington, Kentucky, on December 13, 1818. Throughout her life (1818-82), Mary was misunderstood and labeled as being "difficult" and "crazy." In actuality, Mary was a strong-willed, intelligent woman who defied social conventions. Another reason for Mary's eccentric behavior is the fact that she endured much tragedy during the course of her 63 years.
Unconventional GirlMary Ann Todd was a unique individual, to say the least. For one thing, her wealthy plantation owner father, Robert Smith Todd, could afford to send his daughter, who was extremely smart, socio-politically aware, and opinionated, to Mentelle's Academy, a prestigious Lexington finishing school. Here, Mary made full use of her talents.
Ms. Todd's Controversial Choice of Husband
After completing her schooling at Mentelle's Academy, Mary traveled to Springfield, Illinois. The political scene was "hot" in this frontier town, and Mary wanted to have an active role in it. The vivacious and attractive Ms. Todd caught the eye of many young men in her social circle, including up-and-coming politician Stephen Douglas, whom she courted for a time in the 1830s. Mary ultimately found her mate (and match) in a lanky, socially awkward bumpkin, who happened to be a brilliant attorney. His name was Abraham Lincoln. When Abe and Mary wed in 1842, it was amid the strong objections of Mary's sister, Elizabeth, who believed Abe was far beneath Mary. The wedding took place in Elizabeth's Springfield home on November 4, 1842. This was just one of Mary's rebellious moves.
As a wife, Mary continued to flout social conventions, much to the dismay of her friends and neighbors. For example, she was a poor cook and housekeeper. Mary realized she needed improvement in these areas, and she summoned up her inner strength in order to become a passable cook and housekeeper. Still, Mrs. Lincoln was more interested in studying up on the issues of the day. More importantly, she was single-minded about fostering her husband's burgeoning political career. Mary believed that Abe would one day be president, so she set out to make sure this would happen.
Bad First Lady Role Model?
Mary's prediction would be proven right in 1860, when Abe was elected the sixteenth president of the United States. The Lincoln presidency was fraught with difficulty, and Mary endured just as much criticism from the press and public as her husband. When the Civil War broke out in 1861, Mary was ridiculed for her Southern roots in much the same way as Abe was condemned for being pro-union and anti-slavery. Mary often defended Abe by assuring critics that he only wanted to prevent slavery's Westward extension, not end the practice altogether. Mary coped by shopping compulsively in order to project an "ideal" image.
On a personal level, there was more stress. For instance, the Lincolns' son Willie died in the White House in 1862. This event led Mary to consult with the Fox Sisters, spiritualists who helped Mary "converse" with her deceased son. Then, Abe was assassinated in 1865. In the years that followed, Mary would be hospitalized and declared mentally insane-- by son Robert. Finally, son Tad, who suffered from developmental disabilities, died in 1871. The combination of all these things eventually took its toll. Mary died in Springfield on July 16, 1882, at age 63. She was a truly broken spirit.
Sources:
Harris, Bill. The First Ladies Fact Book, p. 222-47. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, Inc., 2005.
Kim, Walter. "The Saga of Mary Todd," exerpted from Abraham Lincoln: An Illustrated History of His Life and Times, p. 104-5. New York: TIME Books, Time, Inc., 2009.
